Whānau on Mission: Embracing 'Honest Hospitality'
In a world where perfection often feels like a prerequisite for hospitality, Ella Brown offers a refreshing perspective: welcoming others into our imperfect lives can create deeper, more genuine connections.
Ella is the Whānau Discipleship Enabler – based in Featherson and shares her vision of a "whānau on mission" through the lens of genuine hospitality. Her approach is rooted in the concept of "honest hospitality," which she describes as welcoming others into their home despite imperfections.
"I don’t have it all together—the best food, the cleanest house, or the perfect children—but you are welcome anyway," says Ella.
Inspired by Strahan Coleman's book Beholding, Ella emphasizes the importance of being "unafraid to be human."
She elaborates, "For our family, it's about allowing people to be part of our life and 'human-ness.' It’s a combination of organized and spontaneous. We try to have one family a week over for dinner or be available to be invited out. We'll hang out after school with our kids and leave space in our week for if we get invited places."
In addition to weekly dinners, Ella’s family hosts larger celebrations such as Christmas parties, Shrove Tuesday pancake races, and Easter egg hunts, inviting 2-3 families from their community.
"We try to be family to them," she explains. Birthdays are also significant, providing a chance for her children to learn and model warm hospitality.
Ella says hospitality can bridge the gap for those hesitant to enter a church.
"Walking into a church can be a weird or big thing for most people, so hospitality provides the chance to show people that we also are normal people trying to live our lives to the best of our abilities. We just love Jesus as well," she says.
"We get to invite people into our homes and hang out with us first—to be highly invitational and build a relationship with them."
Reflecting on her own journey, Ella shares, "Two and a half years ago, my life changed dramatically, and I felt I had the lowest capacity ever. I had a frank conversation with God, asking if He realized He had just halved my abilities to do anything for Him, like hospitality."
She continues, "But God took me on a real journey of being human and letting people see a grieving solo mum and grieving kids share their home anyway. I am learning that God isn’t actually interested in what I can do for Him, but who I can be with Him. It’s not all down to us; we rely on God to take who we are and work a miracle with what little we offer."
For Ella, "honest hospitality" means involving guests in the process. "It looks like asking people to bring something towards the meal and letting them help with the dishes—not the polite Kiwi 'I've got this.' Allowing them to experience the good, the bad, and the ugly of family life creates a sense of family hanging together."
She draws a parallel with divine hospitality, noting, "God shares His table with us, and we are all welcome. Imagine if we shared our tables regularly, allowing our hospitality to reflect what we've learned about our loving and generous Father. We need to become unafraid of our human-ness and invite the people from our neighbourhoods to sit at our kitchen table with us."
Ella encourages others to take the first step. "Who is that person you keep saying you'll connect with? Just invite them! Pick up a hot chicken, fish and chips, soup, or even leftovers—don’t complicate it. Be present and hospitable. Afterwards, reflect on the surprises and gifts. Be unafraid to be human and to show your human-ness."
The message is clear: by embracing "honest hospitality," we can create spaces of genuine connection and reflect the inclusive, generous nature of God's love.
