Building a multi-generational worshiping community – part 1
Bishop Ellie, in her sermon on 19th September, spoke about the theology of childhood and its significance for Jesus and for us. We live in an adult orientated world and our churches reflect that – but are our needs are greater than the needs and the world of children? +Ellie encouraged us to do two things: ask ourselves “where are we placing the greatest emphasis, whose needs have the greatest priority?” And to dream, wonder and play. Watch the sermon (starts at the bible reading).
We spoke to Revs. Ben and Teri Johnson-Frow of St John’s in Johnsonville about how they have prioritised the spirituality and giftedness of their young people and their place in the Kingdom of God to build a multi-generational community that worships together. They had so much to say on the matter that we have split their response into two stories. Keep an eye out for part 2 next week.
Here is what Teri had to say.
Why is it important to you to have kids involved in ministry?
In our early days as youth leaders we saw a lot of families impacted by the way church often sets up family and church in opposition – providing ministry and mission opportunities that always seem to come at a cost to family – less time for home, for relationships, and for parents to get alongside their kids. When we became parents ourselves, we were determined to somehow find a way to get away from this dynamic – to be able to be passionate about ministry and mission in a way that didn’t detract from our call to be parents and family. So, we pretty much did everything we could as a family. We took our kids to synod and ministry camp (before kids and families were invited). We took our kids on worship tours, to music practices, to services, to our ordinations. Some of this was difficult, but we also had great support – from amazing kids ministers, to Bishops who made us welcome, and young people who loved and mentored our kids.
When we were called to Johnsonville, we were hugely excited by their vision. Despite decreasing numbers and a lack of community connection they had set some wildly outrageous goals including growth, connection with the wider community and a focus on kids and families. This was despite having only two kids under 10 attending at the time. We knew it was the place for us. And because the church only had two kids (plus our two), we had to get out into the community. So we did. We got involved in our kids’ school and our local community in a whole lot of ways.
I guess our approach to this has been formed by a bunch of things. Theology around the whole body of Christ – about us all offering our gifts and uniqueness – because the church is not whole without this. And that includes kids and young people. They have so much to offer. Playcentre and Godly Play have also fed into this – with a focus on children as capable of journeying, learning, and experiencing their own relationship with God. And a deep belief that households are a core unit for formation, ministry, mission, and experiencing the love of God – and that a dynamic that pits ‘church’ against family is inherently flawed.
When we started at St John’s we just did stuff together. The kids got to help set up for services, to help set up for Kids Church and in the process, we talked a lot – about leadership and things we had learned, about what they loved about church and what would make it better (like ice cream in the middle of the service 😊). We’ve never believed in the concept of ‘pew-sitting’ – church is a verb I reckon. Community, ministry, mission – they are all active concepts. As kids and adults walk and work together it is hard to imagine them not being involved in all our ministries. Families know their kids are loved and welcome.
What does intergenerational worship look like at St John’s?
Funnily enough we don’t fit some of the classic definitions of intergenerational. We still run Kids Church on Sundays which means for two thirds of our church time kids and adults are separate. We could be together but to be honest I’m not sure the adults are ready for that degree of change! We always meet at the family communion table together though and it is a wonderful joyful intergenerational occasion where all ages gather together. It’s my favourite part of church. And we do share many, many Sundays intergenerationally – baptisms, Easter, Christmas, prayer vigils, funerals, workshops, fifth Sundays etc.
Our intergenerational-ness is woven through everything else. We are always looking for ways to do life together – to build the relationships, not just within households but between kids and adults in general. We share meals, occasion, school lifts, life. Lockdown has been such a God-opportunity for this. In the shaking, quaking uncertainty of the last year as we have looked at things differently, we have always tried to think about things through this framework. This had led to a couple of things we have loved. Every fifth Sunday we now cancel our service and meet in small groups. Households share food together and worship or go out and serve the community in some way. We’ve also started a couple of intergenerational small groups that meet every week. Families come together, share a meal, and explore the bible together. It’s amazing and we are starting another one soon.
What would you say to encourage other parishes who are wanting to do similar things?
I would say God is amazing! When we moved to St Johns and God asked me to minister with the kids, I was terrified. I had no experience and to be honest not much desire to do it. So, I read, and I prayed, I talked to a bunch of people, and then I did it. I think I pretty much spent the first year terrified. But it has been an amazing journey. God has filled me with a great love for the kids I get to hang out with every week, and it is amazing to see them serving God and shaping our church into something incredible.
So, trust God.
Go where the kids and families are.
Love them. Learn from them. And be excited! God has a plan.
