I've been reflecting recently on how many of my younger selves would be surprised (possibly horrified, even) to know that I am to be ordained a priest on November 17. Certainly, the 16-year-old me who was sure she had it all worked out and that God was an unnecessary relic of centuries past. Certainly, the 30-year-old me who had a plan for her diplomatic career (it was going to take me to Hanoi, Paris and London). Certainly, the 34-year-old me who hadn't darkened the doors of a church in a year following an argument with someone in leadership. 

But you know who wouldn't be surprised? The 5 and 6-year-old me who couldn't shake the knowledge that I wasn't alone and that there was more to life than what we could see. The 7-year-old me who went to Sunday School with a friend, heard the story of Jesus for the first time, went home and created a wee chapel out of a silver fern in the bush that covered our backyard, and would go there regularly to pray. (I had no idea what I was doing, but felt instinctively the need to do so). The 27-year-old me who, with six week's notice, said "yes" to God's invitation to serve in Tanzania. The 30-year-old me brought to speechless tears as I assisted with the chalice at communion for the first time. They would not be surprised. I think they might say: "Oh! Finally!" 

The story of my life is of a God who has pursued and loved me into obedience over and over again. Of a God who has broken through problematic theologies that made God small enough so that I could fit God into a box that I could wrap my mind around, and which saw me jostling for space at the table of God's love, imagining it to somehow be finite. God has loved me into obedience in this step of ordination to the priesthood: a slow-burn, ten-year (or longer) process of a growing understanding that the path God has made my feet for won't take me to Hanoi or Paris or London (or at least not as a diplomat). Instead, my feet are made for the work of walking with people as they begin to see their own boxes and to consider the possibility of opening them; and as they hear God's loving voice to them: "there is room enough at the table for *all* of you. You are beloved, you are beloved, you are beloved." 

I am excited for the journey ahead and for what God might do with this recalcitrant heart of mine, as it - as I - continues, over and over again, to surrender to God's love. 

The ordination service for Miriam Freeman-Plume takes place at 10 am Sunday 17 November at St Andrew’s Plimmerton.

Contact Rev Dan Ross on 04 233 9781 for more information.